The AWE Blog

A snapshot from years ago in Ocean City, NJ—friends, laughter, and connection. A reminder that being “not alone” has always meant more than romance. Most conversations about relationships begin with a quiet assumption: that partnership is the destination, that singleness is a waiting room, that being chosen is proof of worth. Whether spoken aloud or not, many of us absorb the idea that life becomes good only once someone else commits to sharing it. That belief places too muc

Pressing in instead of falling back—especially when it’s uncomfortable. Most problems in systems do not start with bad people. They start when good people stop asking questions. Over time, silence becomes normal. Rules stop being examined. Phrases like “That’s just how it is” or “We have to follow the rules” take over. At first, this feels calm and responsible. But sometimes, that calm turns into something harmful. I have come to think of this as toxic acceptance . Toxic ac

Beach night, sunrise, and then IHOP. The food always hits different after sleeping under the stars. Most people don’t fail to change because they lack insight. They fail because change threatens the balance they’ve built, often unconsciously, between themselves and the people around them. We talk a lot about wanting change: better habits, better relationships, better emotional regulation, better boundaries. But wanting change and being able to change are not the same thing. C

First day of kindergarten — Fall 1989.Outside Wright Street School with friends and neighbors Stephanie Migliaccio and Robbie Henderson. Before plans, before pressure — just the beginning. You’ve been doing a lot of the right things — and still, something doesn’t feel quite right. You’re showing up. You’re handling responsibilities. You’re getting through the days. And yet… there’s this quiet friction inside. Not a crisis. Not a breakdown. Just a feeling that you’re capable o

Christmas 1986. Me and my robot. When men seem emotionally distant, it’s often not a lack of care —it’s a missing skill. Before we go any further, let me say this clearly. I’m not writing this to criticize anyone. I’m not writing this to shame men or blame women. I’m writing this the same way I would talk to someone I care about. More like: “Hey man, do you mind if I share something that might help?” This is coaching. This is counseling. This is encouragement. Not: “Hey, you

Life is hard. Even a helmet can’t fully protect the heart and mind the way we wish it could. People often want life to feel better before they change. But personal responsibility for mental health works the other way around. People might say: “But Curtis, I didn’t sleep because I’m stressed.” “But Curtis, I eat poorly because I’m busy.” “But Curtis, my past messed me up.” “But Curtis, people hurt me.” All of that may be true. But it does not change how life works. Personal Gr

A staged proposal, a good laugh, and a reminder that real commitment is built quietly, not theatrically. Most relationships don’t end because of one dramatic argument. They end because attachment quietly outpaces clarity. By the time a relationship officially ends, the real ending often happened much earlier—through skipped steps, unasked questions, untested trust, and assumptions that were never examined. What makes this painful is that most people involved genuinely care. T

When you’re a kid, sometimes the wins come easy. My mom entered me to win a football toy chest at the local grocery store, my name was drawn, and suddenly there I was — standing in front of a wall of snacks, smiling for the newspaper. What it demanded of me was simple: show up, hold the prize, take a picture. Adulthood isn’t marked by wins like that. The choices that matter most later in life don’t come from being picked. They come from choosing. They ask for something quiete

I enjoy being a menace in the bumper cars as much as the next guy… but why is it that, in the bumper the cars of life, many men treat conversations about emotions like they suddenly can’t find the pedal? There’s something we don’t talk about enough in the counseling world, even though everyone sees it: Most counselors are women. Most counseling clients are women. And back when I was just a counseling intern, my supervisor and friend Jermaine said something that has lived in

Age four at Canadohta Lake. Long before I knew anything about ego states or personality traits… but clearly already showing mine. Most people think of self-awareness as an inner skill—“knowing yourself. ”But in real life, self-awareness is relational . It’s not just how well you understand your own motives, emotions, and patterns… it’s how accurately you understand the effect you have on other people. And here’s the hidden truth: Your lack of self-awareness might start with

Early in the pandemic, these were literally the only two masks I could find — a clown and a devil. Nothing summed up confusion, mixed messages, and unclear expectations better. And honestly? That’s what ambiguity feels like in life, too: you’re trying to play the proper role, but no one tells you which one. There’s a question nearly every person carries, even if they never put it into words: “Where do I stand with you?” It shows up anywhere trust and effort mix — workplaces,

Clarity comes eas il y at the top of a mountain. We live in a moment where every dating struggle gets labeled toxic , narcissistic ,* or manipulative . But most of what people run into in real life is much simpler: The spark… followed by confusion. Because every romantic connection begins the same way — with a moment: a spark a burst of chemistry a rush of possibility the swirl of “this could be something” And then the highs and lows arrive. The mixed signals.The mismatched p

Perspective doesn’t come from control — it comes from climbing, reflecting, and choosing the next step with courage.” Most people can tell you how many hours are in a day. But far fewer can tell you how many are in a week: 168 . That number matters, because how you use those 168 hours determines the shape of your life — not instantly, but over months and years. The days you want rarely appear out of nowhere. They’re built, hour by hour, through clarity, courage, and consisten

My family, mid 80s — I’m the little guy with an encyclopedic knowledge of Motown. By age four, I could tell Marvin Gaye from Smokey Robinson from Stevie Wonder — not because I knew the words, but because I could feel the difference. I still remember sitting in the back seat of our two-door 1981 VW Jetta, listening to my dad’s old Marvin Gaye cassette. His favorite track was “Mercy Mercy Me,” but the one that stuck with me most was “What’s Going On?” — that smooth, soulful

Summer 2015 — Randy’s wedding day. This photo was taken a few months before I left my full-time job to start a new chapter. Today, Randy is Chairman of the Board for Authentic Wellness & Empowerment — a reminder that the people who believe in you early often become part of your future. Ten years ago, on October 30, 2015, I clocked out of my last full-time shift at Hermitage House Youth Services. I didn’t know exactly what would come next, but I knew one thing for sure—I was

Summer was just fun with my brother. We didn’t have responsibilities or big decisions to make — just sunshine, bikes, and laughs. Back then, life was simple. As adults, it’s easier to falter with good intentions — to mistake waiting for patience instead of taking the next right step. A tree doesn’t heal by waiting. When a limb is cut or broken, it doesn’t simply sit in silence and let time pass — it grows around the wound. Sap moves. Cells divide. Bark seals. The tree partici

That’s me in the front of the canoe and my friend Andy in the back, launching into a 120-mile journey down the Allegheny River. We had more determination than experience — gripping the paddles awkwardly and zig-zagging so much we probably paddled twice the distance. Out ahead in his kayak was our science teacher, Mr. Jim Potocki, modeling the way forward and empowering us to grow through the challenge rather than shielding us from it. We’ve all heard someone described as an e

Accidental campsite crashers turned dinner guests. We (Jon, Skip, Dale, and I) rolled into camp and unknowingly squatted at this couple’s...

When I was a kid, my friend Rob and I tried to recreate one of ESPN’s Baseball Fever commercials — the ones so cringeworthy they’re...

Me and Alyce at the Barber Ball — one of my favorite memories. Relationships don’t usually collapse overnight. They unravel the same way...