“Where Do I Stand?” — And What Happens When You’ve Finally Had Enough

Early in the pandemic, these were literally the only two masks I could find — a clown and a devil. Nothing summed up confusion, mixed messages, and unclear expectations better. And honestly? That’s what ambiguity feels like in life, too: you’re trying to play the proper role, but no one tells you which one.

There’s a question nearly every person carries, even if they never put it into words:

“Where do I stand with you?”

It shows up anywhere trust and effort mix — workplaces, friendships, families, dating, and leadership. And while you can work from purpose, passion, or professionalism, you’re still human. You still want to know:

• Am I being appreciated or taken for granted?

• Is my commitment being honored or exploited?

• Does this effort matter, or am I pouring into a bottomless cup?

• Is there a real payoff, or am I holding onto a fantasy?

Ambiguity doesn’t just confuse you —it makes you second-guess your worth.

Not because you’re weak.Not because you’re needy.But because certainty is a psychological necessity.

People don’t require perfection; they need clarity.

And when you’ve lived in enough unclear, inconsistent, unpredictable environments, a moment comes when you say:

“I am enough — and I’ve had enough.”

I learned that on one of the strangest days of my life.

The Day I Realized I Didn’t Know Where I Stood

Years ago, I had a day that felt like a surreal, inside-out dream. Everything looked normal… but everything felt wrong.

I was substitute teaching in the very school where I had interviewed for a full-time position.

Not just the same school —the same job, the same hallway, the same classroom, where I had imagined my future just weeks earlier.

But I didn’t get the job.

And on that particular day, I was filling in for the teacher who got the position, who wasn’t there because he was at a prenatal appointment with his wife.

He was building the family life I wanted. I was handing out worksheets in his absence.

And then there was the classroom next door — a beautiful young teacher who had just gotten engaged.

The ring was new. The excitement was fresh. Another chapter I hoped to have someday, happening right beside me.

The whole scene had this picturesque, small-town, salt-of-the-earth feel.

It was like a Norman Rockwell painting — except the cook behind the diner counter was on fire.

Everything looked heartwarming on the surface, but something was deeply wrong beneath it.

I wasn’t far from my dreams —I was standing inside them, but only as a spectator.

That’s a special kind of ache.

Then the walls started talking.

The motivational quotes.The brightly colored murals.The income chart comparing education levels.

The chart showed a high school dropout making more than I was. My Master’s degree was somehow translating into high school dropout wages.

And that inspirational library mural — whatever it meant initially — hit me like satire. That day, it might as well have said:

“Do your best, and watch it leave you empty-handed.” — Anonymous

I wasn’t just discouraged.

I was disoriented.Deflated.Emotionally out of place.

And the real wound wasn’t rejection.

It was ambiguity.

I didn’t know where I stood — not with the school, not with the profession, not with the direction of my life. And when you don't know where you stand, you can start believing it must be because you're not enough.

Ambiguity Makes You Question Your Worth

Ambiguity is corrosive. It makes you start asking questions that feel personal — even when they’re not:

“Am I enough? “Did I do something wrong? “What am I missing?”

But being frustrated is not the same as being powerless. And disparities are not personal attacks.

Sometimes the environment is unclear, inconsistent, or immature — and you internalize its dysfunction as your deficiency.

You’re not broken. You’re not doomed. You’re not defective.

You’re just in systems that don’t communicate clearly, treat loyalty as infinite, or reward maturity with more work instead of recognition.

I saw this dynamic clearly in a story far removed from education.

The Tim Tebow Lesson: Loyalty Doesn’t Guarantee Reward

Tim Tebow once turned down a multi-million-dollar endorsement deal because the New England Patriots told him they wanted him to stay focused.

He did everything “right”:

• He was loyal.

• He was respectful.

• He asked permission.

• He sacrificed the opportunity.

• He played the maturity role.

And shortly after?

They cut him.

Not because he wasn’t committed.Not because he lacked effort.Not because he wasn’t enough.

But because some systems will use your loyalty without ever rewarding it — not out of malice, but because they’re not built to reciprocate.

The payoff you think is coming isn’t always coming.

Not because you didn’t earn it, but because the environment can’t give it.

That’s not victimhood. That’s clarity.

Harry Beil: The Opposite of Ambiguity

Corry’s legendary principal, Harry Beil, had a reputation that still echoes:

“You might not have agreed with him, but you always knew where you stood.”

That was his gift.Clarity.Consistency.Directness.

You didn’t have to guess. You didn’t have to interpret tone or read tea leaves. You didn’t have to wonder if today you were valued and tomorrow invisible.

Clarity is dignity. Ambiguity is erosion.

Steve Harvey Was Right: “What Do You Think of Me?”

Steve Harvey said one of the most important questions in dating is:

“What do you think of me? “How do you feel about me?”

Not out of insecurity —but out of respect for yourself.

Because if you don’t know where you stand, you start:

• over-functioning

• hoping instead of observing

• trying to “earn” clarity

• blaming yourself for mixed signals

• shrinking to fit

• waiting for a payoff instead of expecting communication

Ambiguity keeps people stuck. Clarity sets people free.

The Real Turning Point: Enoughness and Boundaries

Eventually, I realized the issue wasn’t:

“Am I enough?”

The real questions were:

• Do these people communicate clearly enough?

• Do they reward loyalty?

• Do they value consistency or just novelty?

• Do they acknowledge effort or quietly exploit it?

• Do they tell the truth, or do they keep you guessing?

• Do I know where I stand — or is confusion part of the culture?

I wasn’t failing. I was in an ecosystem that wasn’t mature enough to provide clarity.

Once I understood that, something unlocked:

I am enough —and I’ve had enough of situations that can’t tell me the truth.

Why AWE Exists

Authentic Wellness & Empowerment exists to help people:

• recognize their worth

• stop over-functioning for unclear systems

• stop confusing ambiguity for rejection

• break patterns of being taken for granted

• set boundaries without guilt

• grow without shame

• stop waiting for a payoff that isn’t coming

• choose environments that match their integrity

You will never be perfect. You will always have room to grow. But that growth should happen from a place of stability, not confusion.

Final Word

You deserve:

clarity

consistency

reciprocity

honesty and

straightforward communication

Not endless guessing.Not red-carpet energy on day one and invisibility by day thirty.Not emotional fine print.Not systems that treat your maturity as an infinite resource.

Once you start valuing clarity, you stop chasing confusion.

And once you say:

“I am enough — and I’ve had enough,” you finally step into environments — and relationships — where your effort is seen, your worth is honored, and you always know exactly where you stand.