You Can Be Upset It Happened and Experience Healing

When my RAV4 hit a deer, it didn’t just dent the car—it became the perfect metaphor for how impact can lead to change, and stress can be a signal for healing.

People say to me all the time:

"I don’t know how you do your job. It must be so hard—hearing what you hear."

And yes, some of the stories I hear in counseling are heartbreaking. Sometimes I feel sad, disappointed, or hurt that people had to endure what they did. You can be upset it happened and experience healing

But that’s not the hardest part.

Honestly? The hardest part isn’t what I hear in my office. It’s what I hear outside of it.

Because out in the world, people talk like the pain they’re in is just... normal.

They carry shame, disconnection, confusion, and exhaustion like it’s the cost of being alive. They speak with cognitive distortions that distort their power: blaming others, minimizing themselves, deflecting accountability, or overcommitting to performative roles—the hero, the victim, the martyr.

And they don't even realize it.

Because no one ever taught them that stress comes in different forms.

Most people only know about distress.

But there's another kind: eustress.

Eustress is productive discomfort. It's the focused kind of stress that helps you take action, make a change, and carry something better. This is the kind of stress that empowers emotional healing. It’s the gateway to healing from stress. This difference—eustress vs distress—is something we work on daily in therapy for stress.

At Authentic Wellness & Empowerment (AWE), we focus on therapy for stress that promotes emotional healing—especially through understanding eustress vs distress and guiding you through healing from stress.

In my work, I live in that tension all day long. And it doesn’t drain me—it actually focuses me. Because the very fact that a client is showing up and talking about it? That’s progress. That’s a reason to hope.

And that hope becomes fuel. Eustress. The good kind.

It reminds me of a mechanic. If someone said, “It must be tough fixing all those broken cars,” a mechanic might say, “Yeah, but at least they brought it in. What scares me is the folks still driving around on bald tires and bad brakes.”

That’s how I feel.

When people show up in my counseling room, they’re not broken. They’re just in the shop. And I get to help them rebuild through therapy for stress.

What Stress Signals Can Teach You

Think about what happens when a fire alarm goes off. If it’s not a drill, you don’t sit on the floor and panic. You focus. You act. You find the exit and help others get out safely.

That’s the difference between distress and eustress.

Distress overwhelms you.

Eustress wakes you up.

It’s your body’s way of saying "This matters. Let’s do something about it."

This week, one of my clients cried for the first time in two years. Another RSVP’d yes to a social event after a decade of avoidance.

Those weren’t collapses. Those were climbs.

That’s healing from stress in real time.

That’s emotional healing in motion.

And that’s the heart of counseling: the turning point.

The moment when you stop surviving and start moving.

You Can Be Upset That It Happened and Experience Healing from Stress

Healing doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. It means learning how to carry it differently.

That’s what we do in counseling. We don’t erase stories—we revise them.

We take old pain and make room for new strength.

We shift from:

• “I was broken” → “I am healing.”

• “I can never” → “I’m learning how.”
  

And we do it by paying attention to the words.

Because language is mental health.

When you speak in absolutes (“you never...” or “you always...”) When you confuse thoughts with feelings (“I feel like you...”) When you start every sentence with blame (“You did this”)…

You limit your ability to grow.

But with new language, you make space for new outcomes.

Try asking:

• "What happened that led to this?" instead of "Why am I like this?"

• "What do I need?" instead of "What should I do?"

  
  

The difference is subtle but powerful.

"Why?" looks inward with judgment. "What?" looks backward with curiosity and forward with intention. You can be upset it happened and experience healing

Final Word: This Is the Good Kind of Hard

You can be upset that it happened. And you can experience healing from stress.

You can feel the pressure. And realize it means you care.

Stress doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it means something finally matters.

That’s the kind of stress we build with at AWE. That’s emotional healing in motion.

So when you feel the weight rising, take a moment. Ask yourself:

Is this distress trying to drown me? Or is this eustress inviting me to grow?

You might be surprised by what you find. You can be upset it happened and experience healing

And when you're ready to carry the kind of stress that carries you back— I'm here.